Lincoln's chores and another Jock Strap Conversation...

Today's conversations with Lincoln...

I asked him to give Jake some food and water, because his job is to look after his pets... so he does this and then he says he's going to let Jake in. Now, Jake is crazy hyper - jumps around and generally is nuts... so Lincoln usually lets him in and leaves him hooked to his leash until I go out there and un-hook him. I come out to the porch to check on him ...

and Lincoln says to me, "Guess what? I let Jake in and he let me un-leash him and went in his cage all politely."

Conversation two: The next chore was to get Daphne some water. I give him the dirty water and as he's walking off to the bathroom, I say, "Make sure you rinse it out and don't spill it." Lincoln's response... "Oh, you mean 'don't spill it again?' Right Mommy." --- Yup... that's just what I meant! Crazy kid!!

Once the chores have been taken care of, we have conversation three -- I had him try on all his new hockey gear to get him organized for his first practice on Saturday.... I pull out the famous Jock Strap and he looks at it with a weird look.
Lincoln, "What's that Mommy?"
Me - "It's called a jock strap and cup and it helps make sure your penis doesn't get hurt." I begin to assemble the cup and strap and slide the cup into the little flappy pocket thing...
He get's this shocked look on his face (as though having such an injury would be fatal!!) and says, "Well, I definitely don't want it to get hurt!! But how are you going to put my peanut in that little pocket?" Then he gives me his look that says 'you're stupid, but I'll humor you anyay.' and says, "My peanut doesn't come off you know?"

 I explain that, yes, I'm fully aware that the male genitals are NOT removable and the cup goes in the pocket and it will all go over top of him. Freaking jock straps have caused me nothing but grief in the past two days!!

 I was going to take a picture of him in just the strap and his undies - but he was having none of it. (Apparently it's okay for him to dance around the house in your boxer while I video tape it, but there will be no pictures in jock straps!)

 

Some hockey pictures:

 

Showing off his slap shot.

All geared up -- this is his 'intimidation' face...

"I mean business!"

Realizing that he can't do a 'thumbs up' with the hockey gloves on...

Hmmmm... this is my new 'thumbs up' maneuvre...

Close up!!

I think he looks soooo much like his cousin in this picture...

Checking to see if he could carry his own gear...

Nope... I'll just carry the stick!

Practicing in the kitchen.

SCORES!!

 

A little hockey and a little archery...

 

 

The "C" Word...

Todays Lincoln moment... brought to you by 'profanity incorporated!!'... so Lincoln and Myles are having a play date... it's going well... they are playing they are having fun... they run off to the bedroom discussing what Scooby Doo characters they are going to be... and here is the conversation:

Myles: "I'm going to be a vampire."

Lincoln: "Okay Myles, but you have to be the c*nt!"

Myles says: "What?"

Lincoln: "You can't just be a vampire, you have to be the c*nt." (See, the word is sooo bad, I can't even type it!!)

(At this point, I'm practically flying down the hall.)

Just as I am entering the room, Myles says 'what' again.

And Lincoln (with that tolerant tone he usually reserves for me!!) says: "You can't be any vampire, Myles, you have to be C*nt Dracula."

There are moments when he says something like, "Mommy, can you sing me a 'luv-a-bye' and I think, it's cute when he mixes up words.... and then there are these 'C*nt' Dracula moments, when I think - damn, this is not good!!!"

Washing the car...

So, these days off while I was in Tumbler, I took advantage of some cheap child labor. I asked who wanted to clean my car, Lincoln and Kendra volunteered. I gave them each a bag and asked them to put garbage in one back and any pop or juice containers in the other - reduce, re-use, recycle!! Go green!! Anyway, so, bags in hand off the went. They didn't do a bad job and then Landon and Jamie decided to join them for the fun part, washing the outside. Sponges, soap and water, a bucket and a hose... what more could any kid between the ages of 3 and 7 want? I snapped a few pictures from inside the house - but didn't go outside becuase I figured the pictures would be posed if they knew I was out there. I paid them for their labor!! Lincoln and Kendra got $5 and Jamie and Landon $2.50, because they only joined in half way through. Anyway, below are some of the pictures of them working away...

Lincoln and Kendra with the rags - starting to wash...

Scrub! Scrub! Scrub!

Lincoln coming back to re-wet his rag...

Landon going out to join them...

Kendra basically scrubbed the same area the whole time 

- my driver side door and front panel are darned clean!!

Jamie and Kendra...

Jamie getting the high spots that Kendra couldn't reach...

At this point.. I think it became more about playing in the water than cleaning the car.

Kendra .. still working on that driver side door!

Landon working on the windshield...

And cleaning the other side...

Lincoln getting the spot that Landon 'missed.'

 

And Kendra -- still working on that door!

 Lincoln rinsing off the car...

I don't know that the rest of the car got rinsed, but like Kendra and her door cleaning...

-- Lincoln was all about washing off the tires.

After washing the car, I have no idea why, but when we were bringing in the rags and buckets,

Lincoln wanted me to take a picture of his face on the window... I obliged!!

 

Playing Catch-up.....

So, again, it's been a bit of a while.... I had 12 days off and then Aunt Mary and Uncle Flip came and then Lincoln went to Tumbler with Nanny and Grandpa for a few days. I was a bit busy and am finally going to catch up on a few things that have happened.

Several months ago, I think it was in June. I signed Lincoln up for hockey. I had a call from his coach tonight and his first practice will be on Saturday at 11:15 to 12:15. Then he goes on Sunday from 8 to 9 am... Unfortunately, this conflicts with his Hip Hop dance lessons, so he'll have to miss his first dance lesson. I would rather he miss it than hockey becuase they'll be handing out schedules and things at Hockey and we were at his dance last year so it's old hand to us. Anyway, today when we got back from Tumbler and whipped up to Walmart to pick up a few groceries I checked into the hockey equipment aisle.... Here's what I discovered:

Signing Lincoln up for Hockey back in June ... $400.00+

Buying the hockey in a bag set .... $99.99 + Tax

Having to discuss why jock straps and cups don't come in smaller size with the tolerant young man at Walmart... priceless!! (and humorous!! -- The guy looked at Lincoln when I asked if they came in any smaller sizes and says - "Son, don't ever let your mom say "you're smaller!")

Who knew??

Anyway, while we were in Tumbler, Lincoln made me a mud pie - is that love or what? He piled it all in an old frizbee from somewhere out in the yard. He put rocks around the edges and a few sticks in it for that extra effect... then he came walking into the house with it where I was chatting with Mom and Dad... he was sooo proud of it... He came carrying it in through the kitchen and his little feet had just about hit the carpetted area of the living room when Mom noticed it and nearly had a coronary! "Get out! Get out!" She yelled at him and he took his prized pie outside... Grandma's just don't understand!! But he had a lot of fun in the back yard with his cousins. They were filthy dirty by the end of the days when we were there.

Today, before we left, Lincoln asked if he and Kendra could go outside to play before we began the dirve back home. I said sure, and then promptly reminded Kendra NOT to wet her pants! Kendra said she would come inside if she had to go pee.  Lincoln's words of wisdom in this case: "Kendra, if you feel all wiggly and warm -- that means you have to go pee."

It was pretty funny!!

I don't know if I put this in a previous post, but it was too cute to accidentally forget...

When we got back home from our last trip to Nanny and Grandpa's, I was putting Lincoln to bed and he told me he missed Nanny and Grandfather... then I told him we'd be going back in four days... and he said that was good because and I quote, he "left his heart behind." I asked him what heart he was talking about and he said the one inside him... I have no doubt that he heard it on TV or something... but it was still pretty cute!!

After Aunt Mary & Uncle Flip's visit, I took up hat making. The plan is to make a bunch of hats and donate them to the homeless or the baby ward at the hospital. That is of course, after I make a bunch for family and friends first! I made Lincoln and orange one, and had made this fuzzy green one which Jamie claimed as hers. I took them to Dawson when I was in Tumbler, Kendra wasn't feeling well, so she stayed home. They brought their hats along and here's a few pictures I snapped of them along the way. Keep in mind that it was September, but it was smoking hot outside so I had rolled down the windows! I looked back in my rear view window and this is what I see!!

So, I spoke about Aunt Mary and Uncle Flip, and their visit. We spent a day out on the Lake with them, Lorne & his girls, and Mom and Dad. It was definitely lot's of fun!!